This will be my first blog and I don't really know what to say. I'm just a simple small(ish) town girl and I guess that's it. My life isn't really that interesting, I'm just a normal girl doing normal things with my normal life. The point of having this blog I guess is to keep myself up-to-date with myself and keep my head straight. Oh, and to keep all my mates up to date with me too...all those I don't see on a daily basis anyways. I happen to be watching The Perfect Man as I type this up, and I really wish that guy existed. I'm pretty cynical though so I don't think I believe he does exist. But maybe I'm wrong...I'm leaving my mind open to the idea that there is a perfect man for me. I'm leaving my mind open to a lot of things at the moment even if only a little open to most of them. I'm having one of those days where I have way too many thoughts in my tiny little mind to function properly. I think its just one of those things about getting older. I turn 20 in just under two weeks, and I think I'm scared of no longer being a teenager. I feel like I should be more responsible, mature and sensible from the moment I stop being a teenager and I want to hit myself for even thinking it but I can't help it. I guess I've always been pretty mature, or at least I think I have, but I feel like I need to be more so. It starts with things like getting totally prepared at uni, and tidying my room more often (and keeping it that way)...which I should have been doing all the time but I just haven't. I should probably also bring a more mature approach to my love-life too. Before now I just saw my love-life as something that got in the way of having fun, but I would love to actually have someone around for me. Shame I always pick the bad guys...I have the worst taste in men at times. Then again, I hate the thought of being dependent on someone, and in effect losing myself in a relationship. I don't want to be one of those girls who only does things that her boyfriend would want, or not doing anything he would not approve of. I just want to be me, and be loved for that. But seemingly that is far too much to ask from a guy. They like to assert their power over women, stupid male pride. I hate guys like that...which is why I tend to not do relationships. Me and guys have conflicting views over what constitues relationship behavior. I will never be the girlfriend they want me to be, doing what they say and bending at their wills. It's just not me. But I guess I will just have to learn to compromise. I don't want to end up being "the cat lady"...I couldn't be an old spinster...I'm far too pretty for that! Haha! Let's just hope I find a good guy soon, or else I might just go insane...Em out xx